That last choose your own adventure style post was a little self deprecating, slightly exaggerated and probably made me come off like a pathetic alcoholic, which just isn’t true.  I’m not an alcoholic.

However, the point that’s there is that time very quickly slips away without you noticing it.  I suppose my only real comparison that I can make is school life contrasting with working life  (University doesn’t count.  I had very few contact hours which meant the time could be divided between time spent awake and time spent asleep, but the hours with which each were happening were not consistent).  Whereas I get home from work most days around 5:30, during my time at school, I could have been home for an hour and a half by that point.  With this in mind, it’s clear that I already have less time in the evenings.

Secondly, life has an awkward way of throwing stuff that you have to deal with your way.  These aren’t even always time consuming things, but avoiding them and putting them off can be.  If you have also had a bad day, you can end up putting basic life administration things off even more, and these little tasks become like mould:  Sooner or later it’s going to start fighting back.

However, at the heart of running out of time, there is one over riding factor that you can blame and that cuts to the heart of why things haven’t been done.  Yourself.  Your state of mind.  Your way of going about your business.  There’s no one else you can blame.  I often try and blame my girlfriend, but that just isn’t fair.

I used to get very frustrated with people when I was at school who couldn’t understand how I had time to do all the things I did, because I managed a weekly sport to a competitive level, four musical instruments, three orchestras and keeping on top of school work like everyone else.  I had time to do these things because there was time.  I also incidentally had a lot of time to mess around on a computer.  Now, I get frustrated with myself, because even though there are more things that I actually need to do and there is physically less time to do it in, I still find time to waste, and there is still time there to do the things I tell myself I want to do.

I don’t know what the answer here is.  There are lots of reasons for us not getting on with things that we want to do.  For me I think it’s a fear that if I do something creative, it won’t be my best work, which means I’m doomed before I start, therefore I don’t start, which is of course a vicious cycle that will never let me improve on anything that I want to get better at.

Additional Notes:

I’m fairly certain I’ve written about this before.  I get a strong sense of deja vu whilst typing this out.  If so, that’s interesting that I try to intellectualise my laziness instead of just admitting that I should get on with something.  It’s almost like I’m barking orders at myself to be less lazy, but at the same time validating the laziness.

“Procrastinate Now!”